Welcome!

Well, here I am again, starting another diet. Hopefully this one will end better though, because I'm hoping this isn't a diet, but a new way of life. Here's what's been going on. 3 years ago I got married, and instead of looking my best on my wedding day, I actually weighed the most I ever had in my entire life. I am a stress eater, a nervous eater, a happy eater, a sad eater... see a trend? I LOVE to eat! Mostly bad food, but I don't hate healthy food. I wouldn't have a hard time eating nothing but healthy foods, but I know I would just eat too much of it. Anyways, I have always been an anxious person, and finally worked up the courage to talk to a doctor about it. I was prescribed an SSRI (antidepressant) for my anxiety and Valium for situational anxiety, plus I decided that since I'm back in school and have no plans on starting a family any time soon, I should get back on the birth control pill. In the 3 months since I've started these medications, I've gained 10 pounds! Side effects of all these medications can include weight gain, but I thought, hopefully, it wouldn't happen to me. Well, it did. I am hungry ALL THE TIME... it's unreal. I would eat HUGE amounts of food and be hungry an hour later, like, actually hungry... stomach growling and everything. It's so weird. I'm debating stopping the medication because of it, but worried about my anxiety coming back strong. I've made it through today with my stomach growling and churning, but have no idea if I could take it in the long run. Here's what I ate today:

Breakfast: 2 packs of cream of wheat, 2 cups of chi tea with 1% milk and Splenda
Lunch: Tomato soup
Dinner: Chicken stirfry
Snacks: Banana, 4 pickles, Venti coffee with non-fat milk and Splenda

MY STOMACH IS GROWLING!!! Ugh, I'm so hungry. I'm 251 pounds now... blech! According to everything I've read online and BMI standards, for my height I should weight between 108 and 145 pounds... OMG!!! I have to lose over 100lbs in order to be considered a healthy weight, ugh... I can't believe I let it get that bad. 108lbs seems so tiny! I could never imagine myself that small. I don't think I was that small ever... well, maybe in middle school, hell, maybe elementary school! It just seems like an impossible goal. I remember when I was 165lbs when I met Daniel and thought I was huge, HA! I was only 20 pounds from a good weight. *sigh* Maybe I'll get there eventually. Anyway, this is my outlet, so keep reading if you're interested :)